happenstance

my daddy wrote gag lines for anyone willing to buy my mama barely knew how to read so i got myself born on the edge of the morning with a song stuck between my teeth i knew right off though i didn't yet know why they had sold me into slavery it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me daddy gave me lessons in how to frisk sure made sure i had something down there to hide like my own secret ways with the play of his razor but then that way i was never denied he left me with incurable hunger for risk to mark my culpability it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me anything illegal mama tried at least once but nothing ever seemed to stick that kick in her kiss meant she's let out of prison good for any quick five dollar trick i've got me her body and all its stunts with its open marketability it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me the old place burned down, mama up and ran i got passed down from friend to friend i earned my own keep making time with strange people not a decent freedom left to defend every smile i got from every man hit me like an allergy it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me all those stale sermons i memorized were all about getting to yes at some ghostly call i even lay on an altar sacrifice can be useful, i guess the part that had me the most surprised was my struggle with eternity it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me manhattan was good for a straight open sky i flew through it like a stone chasing on after the flow of the traffic so surrounded yet always alone city streets gave me the face of a spy with thin invisibility it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me my journal was a mirror hanging over the john a convenient place for me to purge instant release, automatic and easy the flushable side of the urge it never was meant to keep going on like some virtual immortality it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me the authorities picked me up on a meaningless prank confined me in a padded cell they inspected my schemes and invaded my dreaming on probation now growing up in their hell i have no one to blame and myself to thank for what they call insanity it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me one night up in chelsea i thought i found love took all i had to hold on to my mask my joke of a heart was the life of the party but that hangover next morning, don't even ask one night for a lifetime was more than enough to function as a memory it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me get me talking on more than a glass of wine i might say who the father was but now that i lost her to that shit they foster i don't care that much to argue the cause if sin was involved i am sure it was mine call it honest creativity it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me i can't envision making it to twenty or more there's too much too heavy too fast good luck and pure chance ain't a magic answer when it's done only one thing will last i can't speak for the one i am singing for but cutting gives her clarity it could have been happenstance for anyone else but it still had to happen to me

malignancies